Bullies in Schools

Perhaps to add on to the book review yesterday, as the seriousness of the problem is rather alarming to not be overlooked, since it was mentioned that about one in seven schoolchildren has been either a bully or the target of a bully (from US National Association of School Psychologists) (For parents out there, what are your thoughts this very moment after reading this? Are you wondering that perhaps your child is already a victim? A silent victim perhaps?)

According to Barbara Coloroso's definition in the book as mentioned in the earlier post- "bullying is a conscious, wilful, and deliberate hostile activity intended to harm, induce fear through the threat of further aggression, and create terror". From the definition, it is obvious that irregardless of the aggressor's or the victim's sake, bullying should really be stopped in schools.

In her book, Barbara, with her years of experience of working with kids, has listed the common traits of bullies from her observation, irregardless of their ways and means of bullying:

1) Like to dominate other people.

2) Like to use other people to get what they want.

3) Find it hard to see a situation from the other person's vantage point.

4) Are concerned only with their own wants and pleasures and not the needs, rights, and

feelings of others.

5) Tend to hurt other kids when parents or other adults are not around.

6) View weaker siblings or peers as prey (bullying is also known as "predatory aggression" - a

scary term, to be sure, but not as scary as the actual behaviour it defines.)

7) Use blame, criticism, and false allegations to project their own inadequacies onto their target.

8) Refuse to accept responsibility for their actions.

9) Lack foresight - that is, the ability to consider the short-term, long-term, and possible

unintended consequences of their current behaviour.

10) Crave attention.

Perhaps, to look on the flip side of the coin, parents, after reading this, perhaps the descriptions remind you of a person that you know? Your child perhaps? Could they be the aggressors in the school terrosizing the weak and young, instead of being the victim as what you might have thought?

Speak to them! Ask them! Perhaps you might be able to prevent your child from doing something that he may regret for the rest of his life!

Something to think about for tonight.

Annie

EQ 2

As promised, today's post will be a continuation of yesterday's discussion, and will mainly focus on the dimensions of EQ.

According to Daniel Goleman, he has defined EQ into five dimensions, namely

1) Awareness of One's Own Emotions
2) Controlling One's Own Emotions
3) Motivating One's Self
4) Knowing the Emotions of Others
5) Relationship Skills

The above are the five dimensions of EQ by Goleman for educators. The development of the five dimensions are all very important, especially where children are concerned. For a healthy transition from the childhood into the adulthood and having healthy relationships with people, development of these dimensions are imperative.

Thanks to the extensive research done by researchers and educators worldwide, there are now so many techniques that the educators and parents can employ to train and develop the child in these dimensions.

Perhaps, this shall be the topic for my blog entry tomorrow.

Annie